of more hectic lifestyles) .
But it's a different story when we were young, then life was fun and beautiful. Particularly in highschool and college. No matter who you are, you fit in somewhere and you have your crew you belong to. But after this, having a wonderful social life can be tough especially in late 20s True? don't panic. Help is here. Read on
Now I'm gonna outline 10 rules I personally believe is essential if you want to be highly social. I learned this from reading tons of books, friendly interviews and personal experience. They woke like magic and believe me if you follow the rules. You are in your way to a more happy and fulfilled life!
A great woman once said " you don't become what you want, you become what you believe ". You should believe her because she was Oprah Winfrey, you have heard of her right? Yea Good!. Okay now let's talk about you and how to become highly sociable...
The first and most importantly is that you must believe in yourself. You need to develop that blazing self esteem and the desire to be someone social!!! (I can't stress this enough) . You need to believe that you can do it and you are capable of facing whatever is out there. Others are out there making head of their life and having fun to the fullest every time. They didn't come from Mars they are same human you are. So how come you can't maintain relationships? That's the big question. The answer is = your MINDSET.
You can't go around with a weak self-esteem, negative mindset and expect to interest people. Well you can if you are extremely cute and lucky. You need to believe that you can be social, that you can enter a room and make 3 new friends before you leave, that you are unique and the world is lucky to have you in it. I bet there are two things you can do better than everyone else on earth. But, you probably didn't take the time to find it.
You know everytime we go out of our comfort zone. It can be uncomfortable. When you do things you have never done, you are taking a risk which is good for your development. Go out there and work on your self development and get high on confidence, develop positive thinking and become your own man.
You can't go around with a weak self-esteem, negative mindset and expect to interest people. Well you can if you are extremely cute and lucky. You need to believe that you can be social, that you can enter a room and make 3 new friends before you leave, that you are unique and the world is lucky to have you in it. I bet there are two things you can do better than everyone else on earth. But, you probably didn't take the time to find it.
You know everytime we go out of our comfort zone. It can be uncomfortable. When you do things you have never done, you are taking a risk which is good for your development. Go out there and work on your self development and get high on confidence, develop positive thinking and become your own man.
2. Be interested in others.
Now take a minute and think about all the attributes you would want in your bestfriends. Probably you would like someone that likes being with you, someone that listens to you and appreciates you, you would surely like someone that share common interests with you and someone that makes you laugh etc. You would often like to be with them( I would certainly love to).
So gunner, go ahead and develop all this attributes you desire to see and the most important is that you must be interested in others.
We all think about ourself all d time and it's just boring. So just stop thinking about yourself for once, start thinking about others. Find out what interest them, what they love doing and help them in doing it. Find out what makes them tick and get personal with them.
Be interested because you can't be interesting without being interested. Don't be afraid of revealing some of your secrets. I know the comfort zone is cool and hard to get out but it's what you have to do to become highly social. Get out there, forget yourself by being interested in others. Find people you share common interests with and show that you care and you will have loads of friends. Don't be afraid that some will think you are desperate or needy, just show love and appreciation everywhere you go and people would start to love being around you.
Try this for a week and get back to me!!!
3. Show appreciation.
Do you know the human brain is wired to crave appreciation?
Do you know people that are appreciated more then to perform better that their criticized piers?
Everyone would love a little sincere appreciation so the best way to connect to people is to appreciate them. Just 3 months ago, a female lecturer of mine made an awesome hairstyle I was in love with. So I approached her and said: " your face really comes out in this hairstyle ma'am, it was hard to concentrate in class and we are all talking about how good you look in that new hairdo. ".
You can imagine the smile on her face on that morning. She ended up taking myself and some of my friends to lunch. Such is the power of appreciation.
We sometime spend time with our loved ones and forget to say the most important things. Words like "I love you, thank you, I really appreciate you, you mean a lot to me, what would I do without you, you are a darling, you are beautiful etc" such remarks are certainly necessary if you want a beautiful social life.
You need to stop criticizing, stop complaining the world is not fair to you and start appreciating others. Praise your subordinate that performs a task for you, thank your friend for visiting, appreciate your friend's fashion, show appreciation to your parents, friends and colleagues. To me I think sincere appreciation is the best free gift you can give anyone( it doesn't cost you a dime and it gains a lot for you) so why not indulge in it.
From now on make it as a must to show appreciation and see d magic it unfolds.
You can imagine the smile on her face on that morning. She ended up taking myself and some of my friends to lunch. Such is the power of appreciation.
We sometime spend time with our loved ones and forget to say the most important things. Words like "I love you, thank you, I really appreciate you, you mean a lot to me, what would I do without you, you are a darling, you are beautiful etc" such remarks are certainly necessary if you want a beautiful social life.
You need to stop criticizing, stop complaining the world is not fair to you and start appreciating others. Praise your subordinate that performs a task for you, thank your friend for visiting, appreciate your friend's fashion, show appreciation to your parents, friends and colleagues. To me I think sincere appreciation is the best free gift you can give anyone( it doesn't cost you a dime and it gains a lot for you) so why not indulge in it.
From now on make it as a must to show appreciation and see d magic it unfolds.
4. Smile and laugh heartily.
Have you ever seen a frowning comedian? Would u love to hang out with a guy that never smiles? I bet not!.
Remember that the next time you go out. We are automatically attracted to smiling faces and I don't need to be a guru to inform you that smiling makes you more attractive and appealing . That's why babies and puppies are such a great hit, a smile speaks louder than words:" I LOVE YOU AND AM HAPPY TO SEE YOU ", so when next you go out smile at everyone you meet. Decide not to frown or hiss, just choose to be happy and smile at everyone all day long. I have a friend names Collins who used to be a terrible grouch and you wouldn't want to be anywhere around him because has this sense of negativity and he never smiles. But the change came when he read a book "how to win friends and Influence people". In it he discovered the power of smiling and now he believes smiling can win you more friends than you thought ever possible.
So when next you go out don't forget to smile!
5. Listen intently.
If you want people to despise you and laugh about you behind your back. If you want people to think you are a terrible grouch and make everyone to avoid you: Don't listen to anyone for long, Rant all day long about yourself and keep interrupting people. I would certainly love to see the aftermath of that.
The habit of empathy listening just keep getting rarer nowadays. Most people don't wanna listen and even those who does only listen to reply. They don't listen to understand, they don't try to see things the way others see it and it sucks so much it makes me .
Take for an instance, you have 3 close pals : Jane, Blair and Richie.
Jane is a talkative, she never listens to you or anyone for long and she keeps on twittering or joking around when you have something to say. Blair is a workaholic. He is always talking to you about his business and if you try to change the topic he gets moody and doesn't really seem interested in what you have to say.
Meanwhile Richie is your adorable bestie. He loves living and making good time whenever he is around. He take you out to movies and parks during weekend. But that's not all, Richie has this crazy habit of listening to you whenever you have something to say. He just kind of stop whatever he is doing and pays rapt attention to you.
Now tell me sincerely who would you love to hang out with more and share your personal secrets with? Jane? Blair? Probably not, think again. Yes it's Richie !
Pay more attention to people from now on. Listen to them, see things the way they see things, strive to understand people and you my friend are on your way to a beautiful social life.
The habit of empathy listening just keep getting rarer nowadays. Most people don't wanna listen and even those who does only listen to reply. They don't listen to understand, they don't try to see things the way others see it and it sucks so much it makes me .
Take for an instance, you have 3 close pals : Jane, Blair and Richie.
Jane is a talkative, she never listens to you or anyone for long and she keeps on twittering or joking around when you have something to say. Blair is a workaholic. He is always talking to you about his business and if you try to change the topic he gets moody and doesn't really seem interested in what you have to say.
Meanwhile Richie is your adorable bestie. He loves living and making good time whenever he is around. He take you out to movies and parks during weekend. But that's not all, Richie has this crazy habit of listening to you whenever you have something to say. He just kind of stop whatever he is doing and pays rapt attention to you.
Now tell me sincerely who would you love to hang out with more and share your personal secrets with? Jane? Blair? Probably not, think again. Yes it's Richie !
Pay more attention to people from now on. Listen to them, see things the way they see things, strive to understand people and you my friend are on your way to a beautiful social life.
6. Make it a habit to always remember.
Now this is the reason you can't locate any of your high school pals. This is why you find it hard to keep hold of vital friends and this is why u can't charm people as much as you would like to. Dale Carnegie refers to this principle as the thing you need to do if you want the whole world to follow you. (you will find it really great to read his magnum opus "how to win friends and influence people.)
I used to have this silly habit of forgetting people. I don't even remember people's name 15minute's after I met them(i was really terrible). The great secret to a beautiful social life is to remember people. Don't just talk to them and forget them afterwards. Get their names and commit it to memory, get their contact and keep on touch with them regularly , find out their birthdays and be the first to send a message ( putting it on your reminder will really help here) .
Just by remembering people's birthdays I have made ten's of friends in the past six month alone..
You can ask salesman about this principle. They know its true because I know 3 people making 100000$ annually just by following this principle.
So remember that the next time you go out and meet people. Everyone loves to be important and remembered. Try this and get back to me!!! .
7. Respect others.
Tell me who is the first person you look for in a picture of yourself and a couple of your friends. Huh who: you right!
Why?
Do you ever yourself why. The answer is that we all have a sense of importance in us. We all want to be something, we all want to be someone respected and appreciated. Or why did you think Roman abramovic buys a World's most expensive yacht? He wants to be appreciated and respected. Yes he did because of his sense of importance.
So you have to stop looking at people as things moving around. See everyone as a unique being with ambitions and feeling. Know that they think, have emotions and have goals. Don't ever criticize or undermine if you want a happy and beautiful social life. Instead praise others.. Show people you appreciate them and respect them for who they are! ( just don't forget to cut off anyone that doesn't appreciate you). Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.
Why?
Do you ever yourself why. The answer is that we all have a sense of importance in us. We all want to be something, we all want to be someone respected and appreciated. Or why did you think Roman abramovic buys a World's most expensive yacht? He wants to be appreciated and respected. Yes he did because of his sense of importance.
So you have to stop looking at people as things moving around. See everyone as a unique being with ambitions and feeling. Know that they think, have emotions and have goals. Don't ever criticize or undermine if you want a happy and beautiful social life. Instead praise others.. Show people you appreciate them and respect them for who they are! ( just don't forget to cut off anyone that doesn't appreciate you). Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.
8. Develop a great sense of humour.
This is also a vital fact people take for granted and it's just plain wrong.
Having a great sense of humour and being jovial, being amusing, cracking jokes and making fun is great. You can imagine how many people go around that can't crack a single joke or make a funny comment. Gunner it's the most important thing you must do to build an amazing social life. You need to ease it up and lose it up, go out there and laugh and crack jokes with your buddies. Put laughter on as many faces as you can. Of course you would pay 50$ to watch Chris Rock perform. Won't you?
I personally think making people laugh is the best gift I could give to anyone! I also think comedian should be the highest paid workers ( hi5 if you agree). Don't care about looking a clown. Get out there and make people laugh.
If you notice the atmosphere is getting dull with your pals why not practice proactive and lighten up the occasion. Make plans to make people smile and you would be surprised how much people will adore you..
Having a great sense of humour and being jovial, being amusing, cracking jokes and making fun is great. You can imagine how many people go around that can't crack a single joke or make a funny comment. Gunner it's the most important thing you must do to build an amazing social life. You need to ease it up and lose it up, go out there and laugh and crack jokes with your buddies. Put laughter on as many faces as you can. Of course you would pay 50$ to watch Chris Rock perform. Won't you?
I personally think making people laugh is the best gift I could give to anyone! I also think comedian should be the highest paid workers ( hi5 if you agree). Don't care about looking a clown. Get out there and make people laugh.
If you notice the atmosphere is getting dull with your pals why not practice proactive and lighten up the occasion. Make plans to make people smile and you would be surprised how much people will adore you..
9. Have a mountain like tolerance.
Now when we strive to change for the better and we come across criticism and negativism. We might be tempted to return to our lovely comfort zone and that why you need a high tolerance to help you along the way. Every time you do something you can never done, it's a risk and discouragement can creep in.
You might choose to appreciate someone and they may shun you, don't take it too hard. Believe those that mind don't matter and those who mind don't matter.
Avoid disagreements and build on common interests.
Turn a blind eye on criticism and appreciate your buddies.
Remember even those that forget you.
Put a smile even on those that undermine you.
Do what makes you happy.
Think like a boss, walk like a king and live like a God. "We are gods in the chrysalis"
People will undermine you, they will laugh at your back, some would even take advantage of you. But don't mind, be confident in yourself and develop the strength to go on.
Do what you love and don't care what about the opinions of others.
You might choose to appreciate someone and they may shun you, don't take it too hard. Believe those that mind don't matter and those who mind don't matter.
Avoid disagreements and build on common interests.
Turn a blind eye on criticism and appreciate your buddies.
Remember even those that forget you.
Put a smile even on those that undermine you.
Do what makes you happy.
Think like a boss, walk like a king and live like a God. "We are gods in the chrysalis"
People will undermine you, they will laugh at your back, some would even take advantage of you. But don't mind, be confident in yourself and develop the strength to go on.
Do what you love and don't care what about the opinions of others.
10. Practice and repeat.
It's surprising how much and how fast we humans forget things. Something we might really want to perform an important task and we end up forgetting all about it. So you would love to write out all the 9 principles I outlined to you on a card and paste it somewhere you can see it every morning (it's a must do.) . You would need to keep reminding yourself to follow this principles.
To have a beautiful social life. You would need to abandon your old habits and form new ones. And the only way it to follow this principles and keep on repeating them till they become habitual. Good luck gunner!
Was the article helpful. It took a while to compile kindly share it with your friends. Thanks
No comments:
Post a Comment